2012 Bucket List

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." - Henry David Thoreau

My mind is constantly swirling with goals, dreams, and the constant quest to learn and grow. I'm excited to begin a new year working to achieve goals, turn dreams into realities, and evolve into a better me. Also, because one of my biggest fears is boredom, and because setting so many different goals in 2010 led me down paths I never fathomed I'd cross, I'm beginning 2012 with a whole new list of goals. Some small, some big, but I'm hoping that working to achieve each of these will contribute to making 2012 one of the best years yet!

12 Goals for 2012

1. Run a half marathon. Oh boy. I had to pause several times before typing this. I've always made fun of anyone who would ever want to run for longer than an hour, but here I am, setting this ridiculous goal.


2. Go to the Green Mill at least once this year, even if it's by myself. I love jazz, and nothing is more "Chicago" to me than the Green Mill. It quickly became one of my most favorite places in the city soon after I moved to Chicago, and yet I've only been there once since moving just blocks from the place.


3. Read all of the unread books on my bookshelf.


4. Attend Sunrise Yoga on Montrose Beach at least once this summer - because not many people can roll out of bed, walk to a beach, and practice yoga while watching the sun rise over the lake. The challenge for me, you see, is getting up at 6:00am on a Saturday.


5. Beat my 5k PR and beat my 8k PR. 


6. Partake in a new volunteer opportunity. 


7. Learn to cook something really challenging. I've really developed my cooking skills since setting a goal to make 3 new recipes a few years ago. I cook for myself weekly, and I even bake mostly from scratch now. But I want to see what I can do with something that would totally take me out of my comfort zone.


8. Learn how to "stand up paddle board" - because I want a cool reason to utilize all the core strength for which I work so hard!


9. Document one positive aspect about each day. This idea came from my brother. He coaches high school golf, and when he noticed a pattern of his players getting down on themselves and being extremely negative regarding their abilities, he had them each start a journal documenting one positive thing they did each day. So, although I'm not a negative person, I'm still going to record one positive aspect daily in my planner for 365 days, and then I'll create a post at the end of the year listing them.


10. Work out more than 223 days - which is what I accomplished in 2011. I want to beat that number only because I like competing against myself!


11. Take a vacation. I don't care where or how long/short, I just want to go someplace I've never been.


12. Lastly, I'd like to be a better friend. This includes making an effort to see friends in Ohio when I'm there. Life is too short to keep letting years go by without spending time with people who have made a significant positive impact on my life. Oh and, um, if the opportunity arises, I'd like to be a pretty awesome girlfriend.

What is Love?

Love is.... playing nurse and dutifully following the doctor's instructions for tending to an infection on my nephew's (very ticklish) foot on Christmas Eve - without complaining or cringing.

I'm a very good aunt.

Also, I hope he remembers that moment when I'm 90 years old and need him to drive me to the grocery store or bingo or something.

2011 Year in Review

Over the course of my youth, I spent a lot of time my bedroom watching Style with Elsa Klensch. During the runway portions of the show, my eyes were glued to my tiny 10-inch TV. But when Ms. Klensch  interviewed designers, I'd busy myself with sketching my own couture creations on paper fastened to a clip board that I propped up on my lap with a pillow. However, I keenly recall one interview with a designer that caused me to look up from whatever masterpiece I was creating. Ms. Klensch was interviewing Donna Karan, and Ms. Karan was talking about how her positive attitude helped make her successful. I remember her discussing her penchant for always looking at the bright side of things, and she uttered something like, "If the ceiling caved in, I'd probably think, 'Well, I have always wanted a skylight.'" I've never forgotten that sentiment, and I believe her philosophy has influenced my own life.

As 2011 wraps up and I reflect back upon my year, I'm realizing that despite the grandiose goals I set last January, which I subsequently failed to achieve, I'm coming out of this year stronger and happier than ever. There were some highs, a few lows, but even the lows from this year turned out to be good things once I viewed them at a different angle.

One highlight from 2011 was discovering a passion for yoga. While I've been a faithful and consistent gym member for nearly six years, I'd always neglected yoga. But I went to a class last January and have been smitten ever since. I now try to incorporate yoga into my regimen at least once a week. Through yoga, I've learned how to stay calm and implore deep breathing in challenging situations. I've also learned to celebrate my successes and forgive my failures, which are lessons I now rely on heavily outside of the yoga studio.

On a related note, I joined a new gym a few months ago that has already proven to be one of the best decisions I've ever made. Although I loved my last gym, I was quickly sold on the fact that the new gym is less expensive and has a rooftop pool!!! But more than that, I happened to meet a wonderful personal trainer who has already challenged me beyond what I believed I could do. I've always been pretty good at pushing myself, but having someone else push me is a new experience for me that is just what I need at this point in my life. Working out is one of my favorite things to do, and the gym is one of my favorite places to be, so discovering that it is possible to enjoy it even more has definitely been a highlight of 2011.

Additionally, my passion for volunteering has grown tremendously this year! Although mentoring takes up a good chunk of my time, I still often feel that "I'm not doing enough," and am constantly compelled to do more. So, I began volunteering at House of the Good Shepherd in September, which is a domestic violence shelter for mothers and their children, and I've been helping out there several times a month because I'm so drawn to their cause. In fact, I had a holiday party last Saturday and requested that each guest bring an item to donate to HGS in lieu of bringing food for the party. My friends' generosity went above and beyond any expectations I had, and now I need to find a way to haul the loot to the facility. This is a very good problem to have. But while I really enjoy volunteering at HGS, nothing really compares to the bond I've created and nurtured with my mentee, which you can read more about in this post. By the time 2011 is officially over, I will have officially put in 167.67 volunteer hours since January. The world doesn't treat me better because I do good things, but I don't expect it to do so. I choose to volunteer because I truly believe that I have a responsibility on this planet to contribute to those in need.

A "low" that I now see as a "high" was finding out I needed to cancel my plans to go to Italy and drop $5k on a dental treatment, which I'm certain you are all sick of hearing about by now. This was devastating news when I found out, but I'm not devastated. In fact, because I was already saving for Italy, I had enough money to pay for the procedure and didn't need to use too much of my savings. Oh, and by the way, although my last post said I'd be getting my new tooth last Monday, I found out instead that I needed to wait two more weeks. But, what's two weeks after three months? I've really mastered the fine art of patience in 2011, and if patience were an Olympic event, I'd bring home gold. I did get a "permanent temporary," though, so at least no more retainer. 5 more days...deep breath...5...more...days...

Another "low" that I now see as a "high" was my computer crashing in June, right about the same time I found out about my tooth. I lost four years worth of journals and countless photos. The upside to this is that I know a guy who knows a guy who knows how to fix computers. Thankfully, I live in Chicago, where everyone "knows a guy." I paid a mere 50 bucks for Mr. Guy (I seriously don't even know his name) to totally rebuild my computer, and now it's like brand new. But while my 'puter was out of service, I basically began substituting journaling with blogging (at work, shhh). Through journaling in my blog, I've exposed my very honest thoughts and very real flaws. But I believe that being open and vulnerable in a public space has translated to my life outside of the blogosphere, as I've realized that the more open and authentic I am, the more people wonderful people I'm able to allow into my life.

Although I didn't find myself traveling down a new career path, and even though I couldn't go to Italy or haven't yet fallen in love with Mr. Right-For-Me, I still managed to have a pretty decent year. I created wonderful memories with friends and family, and isn't that the most important stuff in life anyway? Don't get me wrong - I'm still hell bent on achieving these goals. And after the tremendous amount of learning and growing I accomplished in 2011, I feel armed with the tools to take on 2012 and make it the best year yet.

All I Want For Christmas...

Is my new front tooth... my new front tooth!

And I'm getting it! On Monday! After three long months and too much money, I'm finally going to be able to flash my full, authentic grin again. No more self-consciously stifling laughs because I'm afraid people can tell I'm donning a fraudulent chopper. (If you missed my post containing details of my tooth surgery, you can view it here.)

Getting a new, permanent tooth is something I can definitely bump to the top of my list of "Things I Never Thought Would Excite Me." It's been a long three months of healing, but it hasn't been as awful as I expected. Despite wearing a retainer and feeling like an awkward middle school nerd all over again, I really didn't have to modify my life all that much.Oh, except for avoiding sandwiches. For the love of all that his holy, I cannot wait to bite into a sammich again!!

Also, I had good company during my healing process - celebrities Evan Rachel Wood and Steven Tyler both suffered from tooth mishaps within the past three months that caused them to require implants, just like yours truly. I really appreciated Steven Tyler's sense of humor about his own incident, as evidenced during his interview for the Today Show when he shouted the phrase, "You can't handle the tooth!" This, of course, sent me into a fit of giggles, as I find my own situation quite humorous.

And although I wasn't thrilled to forgo my trip to Italy to pay for my tooth surgery, I have always been self-conscious about my 'problem' tooth, which was crooked and darker than the rest of my teeth. My new smile will  be straight and pearly white. I never would have justified spending so much money to fix my grin had I not needed to fix the 'root' (haha) of the problem. Therefore, I'm thankful for the confidence I'll be gaining with my new smile.

Additionally, I can finally allow myself to date again! I chose to take myself out of the dating game during the three months of bone healing, because I just couldn't stomach having an extremely awkward conversation with a potential mate about how "I have to remove my retainer with a fake tooth attached to it in order to brush my teeth." The horrors! But, not being able to date the past three months has really given me time to sort out all of my head junk and realize that life is short, so I just need to get out there and have fun. What a concept! I've realized that I'm not looking for a husband, per se, I'm looking for someone with whom to connect. Since it's difficult enough for me to find someone with whom I'm attracted to both physically and emotionally, I should just concentrate on finding someone who embodies both, and then just let life take me from there. I believe diving back into dating with this attitude will make going on dates much more enjoyable. Going forward, I'm choosing to ignore 'must-have lists' and 'deal-breakers,' because I truly feel that when you finally find that rare, elusive chemistry with someone, you are more willing to forgive and forget those 'must-haves' and so-called, 'deal-breakers' anyway. Also, by not projecting my expectations onto every person I date, I may actually begin to appreciate my dates for the people they are, instead of focusing on who I want them to be - an attitude that could yield some unexpectedly pleasant results.

Bottom line - I'm not devastated that I had to go skip out on Italy to go through this tooth deal. It's a fact of life that curve balls are thrown at us all, and I'm finding that this whole experience is just another example of how life sometimes leads you down a wonky path, but to have faith that it always leads you in the right direction.