When I was a kid, I often fantasized about being an adult and living on my own. A husband and kids were never in these fantasies, but making my own choices and getting to do what I wanted when I wanted to were definitely the stuff of which my dreams were made.
I remember one instance while sitting at my parent's kitchen table savoring a Girl Scout cookie thinking to myself, "I am going to buy and eat as much of these as I want to when I grow up." And I'm happy to say that at 37, I am truly living the dream.
While grocery shopping recently, I realized that as an adult I am entitled to buy anything I want simply because I want to buy it. If I want pumpkin pie and cheese cubes for dinner, then I have every right to do so. Being single and independent really is just as glorious as I thought it would be when I was a kid.
I've been so annoyed with "adulting" lately that I was relieved at the positive revelation of the good side to being an adult. Typical adult responsibilities like dealing with insurance companies, public transportation, working ridiculous hours, struggling with finances, and general daily tasks can be so annoying and draining, so it's important to seek out the simple pleasures reminding me that worrying is pointless and everything will always be okay. Because as an adult, my primary responsibility is to make sure that everything will be always be okay.
Purchasing random, delicious food is not the only thing that makes being an adult glorious though. As a fitness professional, I do eat healthy most of the time, and working out is a top priority for me. Working out makes me soooooo HAPPY. If I'm feeling down, spending an hour honoring my body and what it does for me immediately changes my perspective on anything negative in my life. The act of being aware of my physical presence and intensely focusing on an exercise immediately elevates my mood and provides me with energy for hours. I am grateful to have a career where I have the freedom to block out time for myself. If all occupations allowed this, I could guarantee we'd live in a healthier, happier world.
Another great thing about being in adult is the wisdom accrued with each passing year. In 2015 I have learned that I must never let anyone (especially someone I consider a friend) make me feel like I am a bad person just because I live my life by my own terms and follow my own path to fulfill my needs and dreams. I learned that it takes honest, true friends to help me uncover such bits of wisdom. At 37 years old I have been able to filter my friends so that only the truest remain. And those who remain are respectful of my choices, supportive regarding the challenges I face, and are not put off by the time and distance separating us. This may be one of the most important lessons I've learned as an adult. Being separated but not alienated from true friends is crucial for my well-being.
Adulting is a pain in the ass most of the time, but it's not too difficult to remember all of the wonderful things that come along with being an adult, even if it's as simple as choosing pumpkin pie and cheese cubes for dinner.
Showing posts with label judgement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgement. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Sunday, January 4, 2015
What I Learned in 2014
At the beginning of last year, I declared in this post that 2014 would be a rebuilding year. 365 days has officially come and gone, and I can say with confidence that I have successfully "rebuilt" myself into a person I'm proud to be and that I'm living a life that I'm proud of as well. Essentially, all it took was learning how to live as authentically as possible for me to be happy and feel successful with my life.
I find myself reflecting on the events of 2014 quite a bit. While no major milestones were reached, a tremendous amount of personal growth occurred, which only made me realize how much more I have to learn and how much more I want to do in this lifetime.
One big thing I learned in 2014 is how to really, truly, love someone by forgiving them of their flaws, and accepting that I can still be loved despite mine. I often wonder where I'd be in life had I never met my BFF. He has taught me so much, supported me so much, pushed me so much, and most of all, has loved me so much. Despite my stubborn and resistant nature, he has stood by my side through thick and thin and has taught me what it really means to love.
The relationship with my BFF strengthened immeasurably in 2014. Because of him (and in addition to some very powerful self help-ish books*), I finally realized how relationships are supposed to work. And I can no longer be the kind of person who participates in negative gossip or behavior, nor can I tolerate people who (inadvertently) make me feel judged, inferior, and are not supportive of my lifestyle and choices. Real, true friends express their honest opinions to your face, and are encouraging and supportive of you no matter what.
Another thing I learned in 2014 is that stuff is just stuff. In the big city, it's very easy to get caught up in the glamour and wish for all that sparkles and shines, because money and the "stuff" it affords is often flaunted and always easily visible. But while stuff is pretty to look at, stuff does not mean that the people who own it are necessarily happy. I guess this is pretty obvious, but I spent a lot of years comparing myself to others and dwelling on all the things I didn't have, so I need to repeat this lesson to myself more than I'm proud to admit.
But it brings me to my next point. I learned how to be at peace with myself despite whatever life situation I'm experiencing. 2014 taught me to really, truly, cherish the little things. The feeling after a workout and after a shower makes me so joyful. Folding laundry, cleaning, and preparing a meal all make me feel good because I'm taking care of my life and successfully managing the things I am able to control. Seeing a client progress before my eyes, cuddling with my bunny and BFF, and exploring the city with my BFF just to take pics made me so insanely happy and appreciative this year.
I learned that making memories with the people you love is far more important than making a lot of money. I make less than half the salary I was making at my job in Corporate America, but my job affords me the time and flexibility to be able to spend lots of time with the people who matter to me most. I was able to visit my family 5 times this year! I was also able to take my BFF and my fur baby along for 2 of those trips. To be able to have the people who mean the absolute most to me on this earth in one room together several times this year was definitely a major highlight.
Speaking of my fur baby, I learned that adopting and loving a fur baby makes me more present, more patient, more aware, and overwhelms me with love. I'm in love with a bunny and I don't care who knows it! She really is my baby and I am committed to giving her the best life possible. I was meant to meet her this year and my life has been increasingly blessed ever since I brought her home on that mild summer evening in early August.
Finally, I learned that the lessons one learns as an adult must be practiced. Constantly. Constantly practiced. The lessons learned as an adult are not as easy to recall as learning state capitals or times tables. Our minds are already super conditioned in our 30's, so it takes extra efforts to be able to change your mind about something, or be open to new ideas, or new ways of doing things.
For 2015 I made a list of 15 goals to work towards all year long, just as I had made 14 goals for 2014. I reached all but a few, but I learned that working towards goals (no matter how big, significant, or small) makes me feel more purposeful and well-rounded, and motivates me to want to do bigger and better things in life.
The lessons I want to put into practice for 2015 are to not to let money, or the lack thereof, control me and rule my life. For nearly my entire adult life I've let money govern my world. But there are so many times in life that you cannot control unexpected expenses, or bad months for personal training. I'm learning to have faith and to trust that I'll always have enough, because enough is all I need. But I have the tendency to easily fall off the tight rope of confidence and stress about money, and I want to stress less about money this year. I'm very responsible, and deep down I know I don't need to worry, so I guess I need to continue practicing trusting myself, trusting the universe, and knowing that money is only money, and my worth as a human being is not determined by how much money I have in the bank. I'll be okay no matter what, because I won't let myself not be okay.
Also for 2015, I want to learn how to and then practice relinquishing so much control over my life. I have a terrible habit of wanting every detail of my life to be controlled and managed, and I feel like this may be hurting me from progressing further in life. Basically, I need to get comfortable with taking chances by getting uncomfortable more often. I've taken some pretty big risks in my life, and the results been no easy adjustment, so I've become a little gun shy when it comes to change, even though the risks I've taken have been completely worthy of risk.
I don't think I've ever been more enlightened, felt more positive, or basked in more peace when starting a new year like I am this year. I'm excited to see what 2015 will bring, all the while enjoying each moment of each day as it happens. Stay present, my friends, and cheers to 2015!
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
*The aforementioned "self help-ish" books that contributed to my increased inner peace and brighter outlook on life are as follows:
The Voice of Knowledge by don Miguel Ruiz: http://www.miguelruiz.com/store/books-card-decks/
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz: http://www.miguelruiz.com/store/books-card-decks/
The Power of Now by Elkhart Tolle: http://www.eckharttolle.com/books/now/
I find myself reflecting on the events of 2014 quite a bit. While no major milestones were reached, a tremendous amount of personal growth occurred, which only made me realize how much more I have to learn and how much more I want to do in this lifetime.
One big thing I learned in 2014 is how to really, truly, love someone by forgiving them of their flaws, and accepting that I can still be loved despite mine. I often wonder where I'd be in life had I never met my BFF. He has taught me so much, supported me so much, pushed me so much, and most of all, has loved me so much. Despite my stubborn and resistant nature, he has stood by my side through thick and thin and has taught me what it really means to love.
The relationship with my BFF strengthened immeasurably in 2014. Because of him (and in addition to some very powerful self help-ish books*), I finally realized how relationships are supposed to work. And I can no longer be the kind of person who participates in negative gossip or behavior, nor can I tolerate people who (inadvertently) make me feel judged, inferior, and are not supportive of my lifestyle and choices. Real, true friends express their honest opinions to your face, and are encouraging and supportive of you no matter what.
Another thing I learned in 2014 is that stuff is just stuff. In the big city, it's very easy to get caught up in the glamour and wish for all that sparkles and shines, because money and the "stuff" it affords is often flaunted and always easily visible. But while stuff is pretty to look at, stuff does not mean that the people who own it are necessarily happy. I guess this is pretty obvious, but I spent a lot of years comparing myself to others and dwelling on all the things I didn't have, so I need to repeat this lesson to myself more than I'm proud to admit.
But it brings me to my next point. I learned how to be at peace with myself despite whatever life situation I'm experiencing. 2014 taught me to really, truly, cherish the little things. The feeling after a workout and after a shower makes me so joyful. Folding laundry, cleaning, and preparing a meal all make me feel good because I'm taking care of my life and successfully managing the things I am able to control. Seeing a client progress before my eyes, cuddling with my bunny and BFF, and exploring the city with my BFF just to take pics made me so insanely happy and appreciative this year.
I learned that making memories with the people you love is far more important than making a lot of money. I make less than half the salary I was making at my job in Corporate America, but my job affords me the time and flexibility to be able to spend lots of time with the people who matter to me most. I was able to visit my family 5 times this year! I was also able to take my BFF and my fur baby along for 2 of those trips. To be able to have the people who mean the absolute most to me on this earth in one room together several times this year was definitely a major highlight.
Speaking of my fur baby, I learned that adopting and loving a fur baby makes me more present, more patient, more aware, and overwhelms me with love. I'm in love with a bunny and I don't care who knows it! She really is my baby and I am committed to giving her the best life possible. I was meant to meet her this year and my life has been increasingly blessed ever since I brought her home on that mild summer evening in early August.
Finally, I learned that the lessons one learns as an adult must be practiced. Constantly. Constantly practiced. The lessons learned as an adult are not as easy to recall as learning state capitals or times tables. Our minds are already super conditioned in our 30's, so it takes extra efforts to be able to change your mind about something, or be open to new ideas, or new ways of doing things.
For 2015 I made a list of 15 goals to work towards all year long, just as I had made 14 goals for 2014. I reached all but a few, but I learned that working towards goals (no matter how big, significant, or small) makes me feel more purposeful and well-rounded, and motivates me to want to do bigger and better things in life.
The lessons I want to put into practice for 2015 are to not to let money, or the lack thereof, control me and rule my life. For nearly my entire adult life I've let money govern my world. But there are so many times in life that you cannot control unexpected expenses, or bad months for personal training. I'm learning to have faith and to trust that I'll always have enough, because enough is all I need. But I have the tendency to easily fall off the tight rope of confidence and stress about money, and I want to stress less about money this year. I'm very responsible, and deep down I know I don't need to worry, so I guess I need to continue practicing trusting myself, trusting the universe, and knowing that money is only money, and my worth as a human being is not determined by how much money I have in the bank. I'll be okay no matter what, because I won't let myself not be okay.
Also for 2015, I want to learn how to and then practice relinquishing so much control over my life. I have a terrible habit of wanting every detail of my life to be controlled and managed, and I feel like this may be hurting me from progressing further in life. Basically, I need to get comfortable with taking chances by getting uncomfortable more often. I've taken some pretty big risks in my life, and the results been no easy adjustment, so I've become a little gun shy when it comes to change, even though the risks I've taken have been completely worthy of risk.
I don't think I've ever been more enlightened, felt more positive, or basked in more peace when starting a new year like I am this year. I'm excited to see what 2015 will bring, all the while enjoying each moment of each day as it happens. Stay present, my friends, and cheers to 2015!
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined." - Henry David Thoreau
*The aforementioned "self help-ish" books that contributed to my increased inner peace and brighter outlook on life are as follows:
The Voice of Knowledge by don Miguel Ruiz: http://www.miguelruiz.com/store/books-card-decks/
The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz: http://www.miguelruiz.com/store/books-card-decks/
The Power of Now by Elkhart Tolle: http://www.eckharttolle.com/books/now/
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Fresh Out of Fucks to Give
One of the reasons I started this blog is so I could have the opportunity to express my opinions, thoughts, and feelings without interruption, objection, or judgement. I mean, of course you are still able to judge me, but at least I can't see your face silently criticizing me! Not that the subjects I write about are very controversial or anything, but I do find myself avoiding rocking the boat by keeping my posts fairly neutral.
I also tend to be very passive and agreeable in person, even when I don't necessarily agree with whatever is being said. I worry too much about how I'm perceived and I'd rather die than have anyone be mad at me. But at almost 36 years old, I think it may be far more important to be respected for living authentically and standing my ground rather than worried about someone being mad at me because I don't agree with them. I think it's time for me to stop fearing judgement and start expressing my opinions, regardless of the fact that others may not see eye to eye with me.
I have always fought hard to keep the peace with my friends and coworkers, but it might be fun to stir the pot a bit for once in my life. Incidentally, my BFF is always brutally honest, and incidentally, I respect him tremendously, even though I don't always like what he has to say. Most of the time he's right, but sometimes he's wrong. Even so, he has an opinion and he's not afraid to share it. I admire that. I'd be a lot less anxious if I just stopped giving a fuck about what people think.
For the first time in 36 years, I am confident with my journey and the way I have chosen to live my life. My lifestyle is different from the average 36 year old mid-western white girl, and I'm more than okay with that. For so long I felt pressured by society to not be okay with it, and therefore my confidence suffered because I wasn't doing/saying/acting/being the same as everyone else. But, my life and the way I live it is my choice. And even though it may not be ideal all of the time, it is still MY life. I don't judge you for your choices even when I can't relate or don't want the same things as you do.
It is also important to remember that people don't care as much about my life as much as I think they do. I have to accept that it's okay for someone to be upset with me, and realize that if they value having me in their life, they'll get over it. If not, they'll move on and so will I.
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