Yesterday I finally learned my fate of applying to the AUSL teaching program. Unfortunately, I did not get accepted.
Although I exhausted so much time and effort during my pursuit of this program, I do not regret a single second of it. In fact, I'd only harbor regrets if I never tried.
Because I believe that everything happens for a reason, I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects of my rejection. And I hope and pray that a better opportunity will cross my path instead. I'm very accepting of the fact that the AUSL program just wasn't meant to be, and I'm confident that I'll find happiness in different work in the future.
I still maintain that this has been one of the most rewarding and inspiring years of my life! And I'm beyond thankful to have become a mentor with Friends First. My mentee and I have grown quite close the past few months, and I'm so proud to cheer her on as she pursues her own goals. I became a mentor to gain more experience with children, and I'm not certain I would have applied to be a mentor had I not pursued the AUSL program. And that would have been a shame, because being a mentor is one of the best things I have ever done in my life.
Additionally, after all I was willing to sacrifice to get accepted into this program, perhaps now I won't have to consider sacrificing so much when pursuing future endeavors, including what is most important to me - time with family and friends.
I still believe in sweating the small stuff despite the cliche instructing me not to, and I'm learning that maybe it's the big stuff that we shouldn't sweat after all. If we refuse to dwell on the negative outcomes of our goals and choose to perceive them as positive experiences instead, then perhaps our potential to achieve is limitless.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
The Finish Line
I did it! I accomplished ALL of my Top Ten Goals for 2010! And with over a month to spare!
Queue the fanfare, confetti, trumpets, parade, etc.
Setting all of these goals really gave me a purpose this year and blogging about them undoubtedly kept me on track. Setting these goals also served as a springboard for giving me the guts to pursue some really drastic life changes this year. Additionally, I've been happier than I've been in years, and accomplishing my goals along with the unwavering support of friends and family has contributed significantly to my happiness. I have learned so much this year and have been so inspired, but I think I can best sum up what I've learned by saying that if you don't try to get out of your comfort zone as often as possible, then you will always fear change and you may never have the courage to face the unpredictable curve balls life has a tendency to throw at you (good and bad). I've learned that this is true for me, at least.
When I set out to write this blog, I decided to focus on "sweating the small stuff" and directing lots of attention to appreciating the little miracles in life. But, I've learned that a culmination of appreciating life's little gifts and overcoming everyday hurdles with a positive attitude prepares one to confidently venture onto bigger challenges. So, as I wait to hear my fate after applying to the AUSL teaching program, I can't help but think that setting my Top Ten Goals for 2010 positively led me to working toward one giant goal.
So, without further ado, here is a rundown of all my accomplished goals:
1. Goal - Run at least 5 races:
a.) Chicago Police Run to Remember 5k (29:26/9:28 pace)
b.) PAWS Run for Their Lives 8k (47:39/9:35 pace)
c.) Bucktown 5k (29:21/9:27 pace)b.) PAWS Run for Their Lives 8k (47:39/9:35 pace)
d.) Pumpkins in the Park 5k (28:00/9.01 pace)
e.) Hot Chocolate 5k (I forgot my race bib on day of race, so it wasn't timed. Boo.)
2. Goal - Learn to cook at least 3 new dishes:
I actually cooked a ton of new dishes this year, but these were the first three things I made
a.) Chicken Mole Nachos with Avocado Cream
b.) Pasta & Potato Bake
b.) Pasta & Potato Bake
c.) Moroccan Soup
3. Goal - Read 10 books and write about each:
You can find my favorite quotes/passages from these books in my previous entry at:http://bigcitysmallpotatoes.blogspot.com/2010/11/book-report.html
a.) City of Thieves by David Benioff
b.) Loving Frank by Nancy Horan
c.) Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby
d.) Push by Saphire
e.) The Kite Runner by Khalid Hosseini
f.) The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore
g.) Virgil and Beatrice by Yann Martel
h.) My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler
i.) Lit by Mary Karr
j.) Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman
4. Goal - Write in my journal at least once a week:
I wrote over 52 times. That counts as once a week, right?? 5. Goal - Go on at least one big trip:
You can read about my Costa Rican adventures by clicking on this entry: http://bigcitysmallpotatoes.blogspot.com/2010/04/costa-rica.html
and this one too:
6. Goal - Volunteer at least one time:
a.) Kids Day America with One Brick
a.) Kids Day America with One Brick
b.) Became a mentor with Friends First through Mercy Home
7. Goal - Take a class:
a.) Canning tomatoes with The Glass Rooster
8. Goal - Pay off 2 credit cards:
I fully expected some sort of fanfare once I paid off the balances of my two old credit cards, but the statements just stopped coming instead. Very anti-climatic. Oh well, I'm still proud!
9. Goal - Save money:
I took some fairly drastic measures in order to save money this year. The following are just some examples of the steps I took and how I modified some spending habits.
a.) Paid off credit cards
b.) Moved to an apartment with a much lower rental rate
c.) Lowered my student loan paymentb.) Moved to an apartment with a much lower rental rate
d.) I have only ordered take-out/delivery a handful of times since I moved
e.) Used coupons and swapped name brand items for generic equivalents
10. Goal - Frugally re-decorate bedroom
I've since moved, but I was able to re-decorate my bedroom by employing my mad Martha Stewart skillz and only spending around $200. Plus, I was easily able to transport the decor to my new bedroom! Very efficient and frugal indeed!
Book Report
My #4 goal for 2010 was to read 10 books and write about each of them. It just so happens that I've read more than 10 books this year, but the following are my favorite quotes and/or passages from 10 of the books I read:
1. City of Thieves by David Benioff: "I am aware that I am aware"
2. Loving Frank by Nancy Horan: "I have been standing on the side of life, watching it float by. I want to swim in the river. I want to feel the current."
3. Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby: "She had to defend him in order to defend herself. That was why people were so prickly about their partners, even their ex-partners. To admit that Duncan wasn't up to much was to own up publicly to the terrible waste of time, and terrible lapses in judgement and taste."
4. Push by Sapphire: "Abdul get tested. He is not HIV positive. Something like that make me feel what Rhonda, what Farrakhan, say - there is a god. But me when I think of it I'm more inclined to go wid Shug in The Color Purple. God ain' white, he ain' no Jew or Muslim, maybe he ain' even black, maybe he ain' even a "he." Even now I go downtown and see the rich shit they got, I see what we got too. I see those men in vacant lot share one hot dog and they homeless, that's good as Jesus with his fish. I remember when I had my daughter, she nurse nice to me - all that is god. Shug in Color Purple say it's the "wonder" of purple flowers. I feel that, even though I never seen or had no flowers like what she talk about."
4. Push by Sapphire: "Abdul get tested. He is not HIV positive. Something like that make me feel what Rhonda, what Farrakhan, say - there is a god. But me when I think of it I'm more inclined to go wid Shug in The Color Purple. God ain' white, he ain' no Jew or Muslim, maybe he ain' even black, maybe he ain' even a "he." Even now I go downtown and see the rich shit they got, I see what we got too. I see those men in vacant lot share one hot dog and they homeless, that's good as Jesus with his fish. I remember when I had my daughter, she nurse nice to me - all that is god. Shug in Color Purple say it's the "wonder" of purple flowers. I feel that, even though I never seen or had no flowers like what she talk about."
5. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini "Perspective was a luxury when your head was constantly buzzing with a swarm of demons."
"...I brought Hassan's son from Afghanistan to America, lifting him from the certainty of turmoil and dropping him in a turmoil of uncertainty."
"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
"...I brought Hassan's son from Afghanistan to America, lifting him from the certainty of turmoil and dropping him in a turmoil of uncertainty."
"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
6. The Other Wes Moore by Wes Moore: "There's a term in the hood for a face like Tony's, that cold, frozen stare. The ice grille. It's a great phrase. A look of blank hostility that masks two intense feelings - the fire evoked by grille (which is also slang for face), and the cold of the ice. But the tough facade is just a way to hide a deeper pain or depression that kids don't know how to deal with. A bottomless chasm of insecurity and self-doubt that gnaws at them. Young boys are more likely to believe in themselves if they know that there's someone, somewhere, who shares that belief. To carry the burden of belief alone is too much for most young shoulders."
"It made me think deeply about the way privilege and preference work in the world, and how many kids who didn't have "luck" like mine in this instance would find themselves forever outside the ring of power and prestige. So many opportunities in this country are apportioned in this arbitrary and miserly way, distributed to those who already have the benefit of a privileged legacy."
"One of the key differences between the two was the way their communities saw them. Here [South Africa], burgeoning manhood was guided and celebrated through a rite of passage. At home [America], burgeoning manhood was a trigger for apprehension. In the United States, we see these same faces, and our reflex is to pick up our pace and cross the street. And in this reflexive gesture, the dimensions of our tragedy are laid bare. Our young men - along with our young women - are our strength and our future. Yet we fear them."
"It made me think deeply about the way privilege and preference work in the world, and how many kids who didn't have "luck" like mine in this instance would find themselves forever outside the ring of power and prestige. So many opportunities in this country are apportioned in this arbitrary and miserly way, distributed to those who already have the benefit of a privileged legacy."
"One of the key differences between the two was the way their communities saw them. Here [South Africa], burgeoning manhood was guided and celebrated through a rite of passage. At home [America], burgeoning manhood was a trigger for apprehension. In the United States, we see these same faces, and our reflex is to pick up our pace and cross the street. And in this reflexive gesture, the dimensions of our tragedy are laid bare. Our young men - along with our young women - are our strength and our future. Yet we fear them."
7. Virgil and Beatrice by Yann Martel: "There's nothing like the the unimaginable to make people believe."
"Creative block is no laughing matter, or only to those sodden spirits who've never even tried to make their own personal mark. It's not just a particular endeavor, a job, that is negated, it's your whole being. It's the dying of a small god within you, a part you thought might have immortality."
8. My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler: "I used to think I was a black person in a past life because I looooove black people. It's the way they express themselves that draws me to them. White people, for the most part, are too conservative with their emotions and not nearly as effusive as black people when they get excited. If you've ever watched a game show where a white person wins and then, later, a black person wins, you've seen the difference. Black people don't stop and think before they jump up and down in celebration. They are so much more spontaneous and festive, and I've always felt that without that kind of energy, what would be the point of anything."
"It was Valentines Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Kettle One. The two of us watched a romantic movie marathon on TBS Superstation that made me wonder how people who write romantic comedies sleep at night.
At some point during every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That moment predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall all the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer."
"It was Valentines Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Kettle One. The two of us watched a romantic movie marathon on TBS Superstation that made me wonder how people who write romantic comedies sleep at night.
At some point during every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That moment predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall all the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer."
9. Lit by Mary Karr: "What hurts so bad about youth isn't the actual butt whippings the world delivers. It's the stupid hopes playacting like certainties."
"Their bottomless cool - their cynical postures grown from privilege they were ungrateful for - could make me hate them. Born on third base, my daddy always said of the well off, and think they hit a home run."
"The righteous cry of married men everywhere, for it's a cliche that every woman signs up thinking her husband will change, while every husband signs up believing his wife won't: both dead wrong."
"When you've been hurt enough as a kid (maybe at any age), it's like you have a trick knee. Most of your life, you can function like an adult, but add in the right portions of sleeplessness and stress and grief, and the hurt, defeated self can bloom into place."
"Their bottomless cool - their cynical postures grown from privilege they were ungrateful for - could make me hate them. Born on third base, my daddy always said of the well off, and think they hit a home run."
"The righteous cry of married men everywhere, for it's a cliche that every woman signs up thinking her husband will change, while every husband signs up believing his wife won't: both dead wrong."
"When you've been hurt enough as a kid (maybe at any age), it's like you have a trick knee. Most of your life, you can function like an adult, but add in the right portions of sleeplessness and stress and grief, and the hurt, defeated self can bloom into place."
10. Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman: "Sometimes writing is like talking to a stranger who's exactly like yourself in every possible way, only to realize this stranger is boring as shit. In better moments, writing is the opposite of difficult - it's as if your fingers meander arbitrarily in crosswise patterns and (suddenly) you find yourself reading something you didn't realize you already knew. Most of the time, the process falls somewhere in between."
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The Final Sprint
There is a moment during ever race I run when the finish line is nearing, and I need to start sprinting to shave off any extra seconds from my previous race times. A supernatural force of energy comes over me and carries me across the finish line. All the fatigue I was feeling prior to the final sprint is irrelevant at that point. And when I check my official time to see that I did, in fact, beat my last race time, reflecting upon the effort to reach that goal makes the accomplishment all the more satisfying.
So, you may have noticed that I completely skipped an October entry. Whoops! BUT, I have an excuse! I've been busy! Since the last time I blogged, I ran 4 races, celebrated 32 years on this earth, flew to Ohio to celebrate my nephew's 9 years on this earth and continued my mentoring obligations with Friends First. October may have been busy, but it was also a very rewarding & fulfilling month.
Anyway, all the sprinting talk is relevant because I'm currently in the proverbial final sprint of accomplishing ALL of my Top Ten for 2010 goals. I still have to create a blog entry about my favorite quotes and passages from 10 books I read this year. And after that, I will recap all of my accomplishments for the year.
Additionally, I was invited for a first interview with the AUSL teaching program!!!!!!!!!! I submitted my application in September, and then, just when I was feeling over-the-top frustrated from not hearing anything, I received an email last week with a request to schedule an interview. I nearly fainted I was so happy! Because nobody at work knows about my quest to become a teacher, I immediately went to the restroom just to do a "happy dance." It was one of those rare moments in life that is so sweet you wish you could bottle it and open it any time you're feeling down. I can't imagine how I'll react WHEN I am notified of a second interview. Or even WHEN I get accepted into the program. Fingers crossed.
Finally, 2010 is turning out to be an incredibly inspiring and life-changing year for me. And I hope to continue this momentum into 2011 and beyond. Oh, and don't think that just because this year is coming to a close that my blogging days are too, because I already have big ideas for my next blog. Stay tuned.
So, you may have noticed that I completely skipped an October entry. Whoops! BUT, I have an excuse! I've been busy! Since the last time I blogged, I ran 4 races, celebrated 32 years on this earth, flew to Ohio to celebrate my nephew's 9 years on this earth and continued my mentoring obligations with Friends First. October may have been busy, but it was also a very rewarding & fulfilling month.
Anyway, all the sprinting talk is relevant because I'm currently in the proverbial final sprint of accomplishing ALL of my Top Ten for 2010 goals. I still have to create a blog entry about my favorite quotes and passages from 10 books I read this year. And after that, I will recap all of my accomplishments for the year.
Additionally, I was invited for a first interview with the AUSL teaching program!!!!!!!!!! I submitted my application in September, and then, just when I was feeling over-the-top frustrated from not hearing anything, I received an email last week with a request to schedule an interview. I nearly fainted I was so happy! Because nobody at work knows about my quest to become a teacher, I immediately went to the restroom just to do a "happy dance." It was one of those rare moments in life that is so sweet you wish you could bottle it and open it any time you're feeling down. I can't imagine how I'll react WHEN I am notified of a second interview. Or even WHEN I get accepted into the program. Fingers crossed.
Finally, 2010 is turning out to be an incredibly inspiring and life-changing year for me. And I hope to continue this momentum into 2011 and beyond. Oh, and don't think that just because this year is coming to a close that my blogging days are too, because I already have big ideas for my next blog. Stay tuned.
Friday, September 24, 2010
'Uptown Girl' Update
I couldn't resist labeling myself 'Uptown Girl,' since my friend Megan used it as the subject line in a recent email to me. It's fitting not only because I just moved to the Uptown neighborhood of Chicago, but also because Uptown Girl was my absolute favorite song as a kid. I mean, what adolescent girlie girl didn't want to be Christie Brinkley in that video?!?!
Anyway, after exactly a month, I am finally settled into my new home. The increase in square footage makes such a huge difference compared to my former matchbox-sized apartment in Lincoln Park. Another sharp contrast? My past and present neighborhood! Uptown is definitely more "gritty" than Lincoln Park, but I actually love the very urban setting. I use the term "gritty" because Uptown isn't as meticulously manicured as Lincoln Park, nor is it all that safe to go trolling around late at night. But, my Uptown neighbors are friendly and say Hello (or, in many cases, "Hola"), whereas the snotty affluence of Lincoln Park meant that neighbors didn't so much as make eye contact. Don't get me wrong, I loved Lincoln Park during the 8 years I resided there, but the sense of community was severely lacking. I'm guessing that was due to the population mostly consisting of a disagreeable contrast between conservative yuppies and party-centric twenty-somethings. Uptown, however, is incredibly diverse. Broad ranges of racial & economic diversity, a variance of ages and sexual orientations all play roles in coloring in my vibrant neighborhood. Uptown also seems to embrace all varieties of crazy, an aspect which causes me to entertain the thought of putting off cable installation indefinitely. Also, even though I'm further north from downtown now, Uptown feels more "city-ish" to me. In fact, my friend Sara perfectly described it as "Sesame Street, 227 and The Wire" all in one!
In addition to recently moving, I've also been spending time with my "mentee," which has been such an incredible experience so far, and we've only had two outings. (Side note - In order to maintain confidentiality, I won't use her name when I write about her in this public setting.) She is 11 years old and very bright and sweet. I'm already taken with her desire to learn so much about the world around her, and I aim to exceed her expectations as a mentor through encouraging her to never lose that eager and positive mentality. At such a young age, she has overcome so much hardship in her life, yet she still remains a very enthusiastic girl - an attribute I find infinitely inspiring. I don't always have the best luck, but I sincerely feel as though I hit the jackpot in getting matched with my particular "mentee." I cannot wait to
see what future adventures are in store for us!
Another update to report: After many months of anticipation, the AUSL teaching applications are FINALLY available! They came out on Thursday, but because I don't want to be hasty, I'm going to find some quiet time tonight to fill it out. I've been preparing for this opportunity for many months, and because I only get one shot, I want to be extremely careful with what I choose to fill into those blanks. All of my supporting docs are ready to go though, so I will be officially "applied" by Monday of next week. Wish me luck!!
And finally, with regards to my New Year's goals, I'm down to having just one more book to read, and running 4 races, all for which I'm registered. The class I ended up taking that I can cross off my list was a canning class from The Glass Rooster. My friend, Jennie, who perpetually keeps an eye out for all activities unique and entertaining, stumbled upon an article about canning classes from The Glass Rooster, and so we immediately signed up. Oh - canning qualifies as an entertaining activity, you ask? Well, to be honest, my friends and I could watch paint dry and somehow find ourselves in a fit of giggles, so yes, canning was, in fact, entertaining. And now I have tomatoes coming out the wazoo! During the class, the canning instructor shared some really interesting stories about her life on a farm growing up, along with her transition to city life, including exhausting every effort to preserve the importance of obtaining real food. Additionally, the whole canning process reminded me so much of my Grandma Elsie, who was a canner extraordinaire. It continues to shock me that the art of canning has completely skipped a generation or two. How on earth did that happen? Oh yeah, money-hungry corporate America got involved, blindsiding us by sneaking cheaply produced, overly processed foods that have unidentifiable origins into our grocery stores. Ok, I won't get off on a tangent, but I guarantee that watching Food Inc. will make you just as bitter about our food industry...
So that is all for now! Phew! A lot sure has happened in the past month or so. It has been such a busy year overall though, and I can hardly believe that we are almost at the end of the 9th month of 2010!
Anyway, after exactly a month, I am finally settled into my new home. The increase in square footage makes such a huge difference compared to my former matchbox-sized apartment in Lincoln Park. Another sharp contrast? My past and present neighborhood! Uptown is definitely more "gritty" than Lincoln Park, but I actually love the very urban setting. I use the term "gritty" because Uptown isn't as meticulously manicured as Lincoln Park, nor is it all that safe to go trolling around late at night. But, my Uptown neighbors are friendly and say Hello (or, in many cases, "Hola"), whereas the snotty affluence of Lincoln Park meant that neighbors didn't so much as make eye contact. Don't get me wrong, I loved Lincoln Park during the 8 years I resided there, but the sense of community was severely lacking. I'm guessing that was due to the population mostly consisting of a disagreeable contrast between conservative yuppies and party-centric twenty-somethings. Uptown, however, is incredibly diverse. Broad ranges of racial & economic diversity, a variance of ages and sexual orientations all play roles in coloring in my vibrant neighborhood. Uptown also seems to embrace all varieties of crazy, an aspect which causes me to entertain the thought of putting off cable installation indefinitely. Also, even though I'm further north from downtown now, Uptown feels more "city-ish" to me. In fact, my friend Sara perfectly described it as "Sesame Street, 227 and The Wire" all in one!
In addition to recently moving, I've also been spending time with my "mentee," which has been such an incredible experience so far, and we've only had two outings. (Side note - In order to maintain confidentiality, I won't use her name when I write about her in this public setting.) She is 11 years old and very bright and sweet. I'm already taken with her desire to learn so much about the world around her, and I aim to exceed her expectations as a mentor through encouraging her to never lose that eager and positive mentality. At such a young age, she has overcome so much hardship in her life, yet she still remains a very enthusiastic girl - an attribute I find infinitely inspiring. I don't always have the best luck, but I sincerely feel as though I hit the jackpot in getting matched with my particular "mentee." I cannot wait to
Another update to report: After many months of anticipation, the AUSL teaching applications are FINALLY available! They came out on Thursday, but because I don't want to be hasty, I'm going to find some quiet time tonight to fill it out. I've been preparing for this opportunity for many months, and because I only get one shot, I want to be extremely careful with what I choose to fill into those blanks. All of my supporting docs are ready to go though, so I will be officially "applied" by Monday of next week. Wish me luck!!
And finally, with regards to my New Year's goals, I'm down to having just one more book to read, and running 4 races, all for which I'm registered. The class I ended up taking that I can cross off my list was a canning class from The Glass Rooster. My friend, Jennie, who perpetually keeps an eye out for all activities unique and entertaining, stumbled upon an article about canning classes from The Glass Rooster, and so we immediately signed up. Oh - canning qualifies as an entertaining activity, you ask? Well, to be honest, my friends and I could watch paint dry and somehow find ourselves in a fit of giggles, so yes, canning was, in fact, entertaining. And now I have tomatoes coming out the wazoo! During the class, the canning instructor shared some really interesting stories about her life on a farm growing up, along with her transition to city life, including exhausting every effort to preserve the importance of obtaining real food. Additionally, the whole canning process reminded me so much of my Grandma Elsie, who was a canner extraordinaire. It continues to shock me that the art of canning has completely skipped a generation or two. How on earth did that happen? Oh yeah, money-hungry corporate America got involved, blindsiding us by sneaking cheaply produced, overly processed foods that have unidentifiable origins into our grocery stores. Ok, I won't get off on a tangent, but I guarantee that watching Food Inc. will make you just as bitter about our food industry...
So that is all for now! Phew! A lot sure has happened in the past month or so. It has been such a busy year overall though, and I can hardly believe that we are almost at the end of the 9th month of 2010!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Math + Steph = ......Genius???
It's no secret that I have always shared a love/hate relationship with math - minus the love. Subsequently after being introduced to long division in 5th grade, my mother toted me to a math tutor on a weekly basis. But, at that point, I still had no idea my future in math would be a dark tunnel of decimal points, digits and even more dreaded division.
I struggled with math in 6th grade, too, but it wasn't until 7th grade that I officially declared war with math. Just when I thought nothing could be worse than long division, I was introduced to algebra. Worse than that, I was introduced to the algebra teacher, Mr. Smith. This guy eagerly sniffed out the fear of math in 7th graders, so (not surprisingly) I was assigned to sit front and center in his classroom. His classroom, by the way, was so clean and organized you could perform surgery on the desks. He drew X's on the floor to ensure that, when all desks were placed on said X's, they'd always be lined up properly. And, if he ever noticed papers or notebooks on his desk a bit askew, he'd pause to line them up so everything was parallel. But, besides his obsession with cleanliness and organization, math seemed to be this guy's whole freakin' world. In fact, on the first day of class, he shattered any sort of youthful idealism I had by declaring, "math - not love - makes the world go around." Great.
As you may have gathered, I was not a star student in his class. In fact, I had so much trouble with algebra that I can recall more than a few times, in response to his frustration with me, he threw chalk and erasers. Creating a plume of chalk dust in his otherwise pristine classroom cemented my suspicion that he was, in fact, really angry at me.
But, I was angry at him, too. For instance, every day we'd go through the drill of him asking me to put my glasses on, and I'd have to dig the hideous specs out of my book bag. (I already had braces, so even though I was blind as a bat, I hated wearing my glasses due to the whole 'nerd alert' double whammy factor). Also, he once made me miss our school's ice cream social by keeping me after class to help with something giving me extra trouble. Oh, and by 'help,' I mean, 'scream at me.' That was the last straw. He finally broke me. I cried right in front of him. He won. Math won. Math: 9,632,000 Steph: 0
In 8th grade, I somehow managed to skate through math by the skin of my teeth, and I'm pretty sure that was only because the teacher was sympathetic to the fact I'd been in Mr. Smith's class the previous year. Then, in 9th grade, I failed Algebra. FAILED. The teacher sent interim reports home to my parents praising me about how hard I tried and that my attitude was good, but the actual math part just wouldn't click. So, to salvage my GPA, I decided to stick to non-college prep math the next two years.
Even though I always did well in my other subjects in high school, it still bothered me that I never passed college prep algebra. As a result, I did the unthinkable my senior year: I signed up to re-take that algebra class that had defeated me as a freshman. On the first day of school, I walked into Mr. Hackim's class and declared myself doomed. You see, Mr. Hackim was the varsity baseball coach and had a reputation for being incredibly intimidating. I could instantly tell that this burly man wasn't going to take crap from any punk kid who dared try to provoke him. But, as my insides were curdling during roll call, he walked over to me, looked me up and down, and proclaimed to the freshman students, "Stephanie is in charge." For the first time in a math class since 5th grade, I exhaled. I ended up doing really well in that class, too. Mr. Hackim even sent a letter to my parents explaining how he "would stay in teaching forever if he could be guaranteed to always have students like me." Apparently, Mr. Hackim wasn't so intimidating after all. And, I happily learned, neither was algebra.
After passing my one required math course in college, I figured math would finally be shelved for good, and was satisfied to come away with only a few battle scars. But, during my senior year, I randomly signed up for a computer class I heard would be an 'easy A.' I learned a bit about Microsoft Excel in that class, and for the first time ever, math made sense. The elusive math 'a ha' moment was, at last, actualized. It wasn't just the formulas that made more sense to me in spreadsheet form, it was applying math problems to real life situations, i.e. financing a car. I learned to like math so much that I began creating personal budgets on Excel, and have been doing so ever since. Additionally, I do math for a living now. Even though I had zero finance experience, my company promoted me to my current position based on my Excel knowledge and organizational skills (no doubt an attribute I inadvertently inherited from Mr. Smith). As I've mentioned many times before, I'm not passionate about my job, but discovering I was actually good at something involving a lot of math was empowering.
So, after reading about my rocky and, at times, taumatizing history with math, you might be as shocked as I was to learn that, after receiving my official scores in the mail last week, I scored highest in MATH on the Illinois Basic Skills & Content Area tests. WHAT?! Yes! I called my parents and brother right away, who, recalling my 7th grade horrors, were quick to reference Mr. Smith's name.
The lesson to learn here, kids, is that even though you may struggle with something at one point in your life, it doesn't mean that you can't or won't conquer it at another point. I predicted that thoughts of Mr. Smith's class would haunt me for the rest of my life, and they have, just not in the way I thought. For example, it was his voice I kept hearing while studying for the tests, and not in a bad way. I finally 'get' that it wasn't that he didn't like me, it was that he knew I had the potential to understand the material, and he was frustrated that I had failed to see my own potential.
Finally, Mr. Smith is an example of the type of teacher I want to be (minus the chalk/eraser pitching, of course). I'm talking about not letting any child fly under the radar, no matter how much they'd rather disappear into the background.
I struggled with math in 6th grade, too, but it wasn't until 7th grade that I officially declared war with math. Just when I thought nothing could be worse than long division, I was introduced to algebra. Worse than that, I was introduced to the algebra teacher, Mr. Smith. This guy eagerly sniffed out the fear of math in 7th graders, so (not surprisingly) I was assigned to sit front and center in his classroom. His classroom, by the way, was so clean and organized you could perform surgery on the desks. He drew X's on the floor to ensure that, when all desks were placed on said X's, they'd always be lined up properly. And, if he ever noticed papers or notebooks on his desk a bit askew, he'd pause to line them up so everything was parallel. But, besides his obsession with cleanliness and organization, math seemed to be this guy's whole freakin' world. In fact, on the first day of class, he shattered any sort of youthful idealism I had by declaring, "math - not love - makes the world go around." Great.
As you may have gathered, I was not a star student in his class. In fact, I had so much trouble with algebra that I can recall more than a few times, in response to his frustration with me, he threw chalk and erasers. Creating a plume of chalk dust in his otherwise pristine classroom cemented my suspicion that he was, in fact, really angry at me.
But, I was angry at him, too. For instance, every day we'd go through the drill of him asking me to put my glasses on, and I'd have to dig the hideous specs out of my book bag. (I already had braces, so even though I was blind as a bat, I hated wearing my glasses due to the whole 'nerd alert' double whammy factor). Also, he once made me miss our school's ice cream social by keeping me after class to help with something giving me extra trouble. Oh, and by 'help,' I mean, 'scream at me.' That was the last straw. He finally broke me. I cried right in front of him. He won. Math won. Math: 9,632,000 Steph: 0
In 8th grade, I somehow managed to skate through math by the skin of my teeth, and I'm pretty sure that was only because the teacher was sympathetic to the fact I'd been in Mr. Smith's class the previous year. Then, in 9th grade, I failed Algebra. FAILED. The teacher sent interim reports home to my parents praising me about how hard I tried and that my attitude was good, but the actual math part just wouldn't click. So, to salvage my GPA, I decided to stick to non-college prep math the next two years.
Even though I always did well in my other subjects in high school, it still bothered me that I never passed college prep algebra. As a result, I did the unthinkable my senior year: I signed up to re-take that algebra class that had defeated me as a freshman. On the first day of school, I walked into Mr. Hackim's class and declared myself doomed. You see, Mr. Hackim was the varsity baseball coach and had a reputation for being incredibly intimidating. I could instantly tell that this burly man wasn't going to take crap from any punk kid who dared try to provoke him. But, as my insides were curdling during roll call, he walked over to me, looked me up and down, and proclaimed to the freshman students, "Stephanie is in charge." For the first time in a math class since 5th grade, I exhaled. I ended up doing really well in that class, too. Mr. Hackim even sent a letter to my parents explaining how he "would stay in teaching forever if he could be guaranteed to always have students like me." Apparently, Mr. Hackim wasn't so intimidating after all. And, I happily learned, neither was algebra.
After passing my one required math course in college, I figured math would finally be shelved for good, and was satisfied to come away with only a few battle scars. But, during my senior year, I randomly signed up for a computer class I heard would be an 'easy A.' I learned a bit about Microsoft Excel in that class, and for the first time ever, math made sense. The elusive math 'a ha' moment was, at last, actualized. It wasn't just the formulas that made more sense to me in spreadsheet form, it was applying math problems to real life situations, i.e. financing a car. I learned to like math so much that I began creating personal budgets on Excel, and have been doing so ever since. Additionally, I do math for a living now. Even though I had zero finance experience, my company promoted me to my current position based on my Excel knowledge and organizational skills (no doubt an attribute I inadvertently inherited from Mr. Smith). As I've mentioned many times before, I'm not passionate about my job, but discovering I was actually good at something involving a lot of math was empowering.
So, after reading about my rocky and, at times, taumatizing history with math, you might be as shocked as I was to learn that, after receiving my official scores in the mail last week, I scored highest in MATH on the Illinois Basic Skills & Content Area tests. WHAT?! Yes! I called my parents and brother right away, who, recalling my 7th grade horrors, were quick to reference Mr. Smith's name.
The lesson to learn here, kids, is that even though you may struggle with something at one point in your life, it doesn't mean that you can't or won't conquer it at another point. I predicted that thoughts of Mr. Smith's class would haunt me for the rest of my life, and they have, just not in the way I thought. For example, it was his voice I kept hearing while studying for the tests, and not in a bad way. I finally 'get' that it wasn't that he didn't like me, it was that he knew I had the potential to understand the material, and he was frustrated that I had failed to see my own potential.
Finally, Mr. Smith is an example of the type of teacher I want to be (minus the chalk/eraser pitching, of course). I'm talking about not letting any child fly under the radar, no matter how much they'd rather disappear into the background.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Disarray
Do you know the feeling you get when you take everything out of your closet to reorganize it, and then you face the daunting task of putting it all back together? Sure, you fully understand that your efforts will equal more efficient closet space, but I'm talking about that sudden, discouraging moment when all of your stuff is in disarray, and you realize that a lot of work is required in order to make that closet work better for you. Well, that's how I feel about my life right now. But, as the saying goes (Warning: cliche ahead), "you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs."
Anyway, I passed BOTH the Illinois Basic Skills & Content Area tests (Woo hoo!!!), so now I'm just patiently (and by patiently, I mean nervously/anxiously/restlessly) waiting until the new AUSL applications are available so I can finally apply to the program that has been occupying 90% of my mind since April.
Also, I'm moving into a new apartment on Monday, and my current apartment is filled to the brim with boxes. I never realized until just this week how sad an apartment can be when there is nothing on the walls except the dust outlines where pictures once hung, and a mountain of unmarked boxes dominating the living room, just waiting to be hauled off to my new little corner in the world. Perhaps the reason my apartment is so sad is because my place at 420 W Surf is the first Chicago apartment that ever truly felt like a 'home' to me, and now it seems so strange that I'm suddenly abandoning ship. But, life moves on. Literally, and, well, literally.
Additionally, after several months, I've finally completed the process of jumping through all of the necessary hoops (and there were A LOT of dang hoops) to become a mentor with the Friends First program. So, now I'm just patiently (and by patiently, I mean nervously/anxiously/restlessly) waiting to get matched with my mentee.
So, all of the above, plus trying to complete all of my Top 10 Goals for 2010, has really kept me on my toes this summer. And despite sacrificing some summer fun, and accepting all the uncertainty that comes along with making big life changes, I maintain that every ounce of effort spent on reaching my goals has been worth every minute!
And as I look around at everything in my life that has been moved, removed, shifted, changed & rearranged, I take a deep breath and remember that a better, more efficient and organized closet is in my future.
Anyway, I passed BOTH the Illinois Basic Skills & Content Area tests (Woo hoo!!!), so now I'm just patiently (and by patiently, I mean nervously/anxiously/restlessly) waiting until the new AUSL applications are available so I can finally apply to the program that has been occupying 90% of my mind since April.
Also, I'm moving into a new apartment on Monday, and my current apartment is filled to the brim with boxes. I never realized until just this week how sad an apartment can be when there is nothing on the walls except the dust outlines where pictures once hung, and a mountain of unmarked boxes dominating the living room, just waiting to be hauled off to my new little corner in the world. Perhaps the reason my apartment is so sad is because my place at 420 W Surf is the first Chicago apartment that ever truly felt like a 'home' to me, and now it seems so strange that I'm suddenly abandoning ship. But, life moves on. Literally, and, well, literally.
Additionally, after several months, I've finally completed the process of jumping through all of the necessary hoops (and there were A LOT of dang hoops) to become a mentor with the Friends First program. So, now I'm just patiently (and by patiently, I mean nervously/anxiously/restlessly) waiting to get matched with my mentee.
So, all of the above, plus trying to complete all of my Top 10 Goals for 2010, has really kept me on my toes this summer. And despite sacrificing some summer fun, and accepting all the uncertainty that comes along with making big life changes, I maintain that every ounce of effort spent on reaching my goals has been worth every minute!
And as I look around at everything in my life that has been moved, removed, shifted, changed & rearranged, I take a deep breath and remember that a better, more efficient and organized closet is in my future.
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