The Adventures of Ethan & Aunt Stephanie

So this entry has nothing to do with my Top Ten Goals for 2010, but it has everything to do with the "small stuff," which is essentially the core theme of this blog. (I've tried like mad to keep a central theme, but as life would have it, it has obviously expanded to so much more!)

Anyway, I was in Ohio visiting my fabulous, fantastic, funny & fun family for an entire week a couple weeks ago, and along with squeezing in quality study time for the Illinois Basic Skills Test (which I took this past weekend!), there was a whole lot of quality aunt/nephew time with Ethan. I am dedicating this entry solely to him because, quite simply, I'm obsessed with the little guy. Everyone close to me knows this, and even my co-workers, with whom I choose to share few details regarding my personal life, know ALL about Ethan. I'm assuming the shrine of Ethan pics that adorn my cube don't do much to hide this obsession, and instead prompt inquiry as to the identity of the little man.

So, without further ado, here is a recap of only some of many of the small, yet special, moments that occurred during our time together in Ohio:

Trip to CVS = An Unexpected Lesson in Responsibility

Because I try to take as few toiletries as possible with me when I fly to Ohio, I needed to make a trip to CVS soon after I arrived. I asked Ethan if he wanted to walk with me, and he was all about it. As we were walking out the door, my brother tried to hand him $5.00 so he could buy soap for their bathroom. Ethan told him that he didn't want to buy the soap and that they could just get it at another time. My brother, who would've loved if Ethan had taken him up on the responsibility, retracted the $5.00 but didn't make a fuss. When we started walking, I could tell Ethan was a little pensive, but after a few minutes, a conversation began between us and went like this:

Ethan: "Do you think Daddy was mad that I didn't take the $5.00 to buy soap?"

Me: "Oh, honey, no, I don't think he was mad. ...... But, if you want, we could always still pick out a soap and just have Daddy pay me back later."

Ethan: "Yeah, that's a good idea. Can we do that?"

So with that, we paced the soap aisle in CVS with a mission. Overwhelmed by the plethora of choices, we first had to figure out bar or liquid. After a quick call and consultation with Daddy, it was established that we needed to choose a liquid cleanser. Then, I advised him to choose one of the three brands on sale. Of those three, we did a 'smell' test. Nivea for Men won, which made me giggle because Ethan is eight, yet he chose a very sophisticated cleansing product (Nivea for MEN!), which, I'm sure, is EXACTLY why he chose it.

I can't explain to you the magnitude of how proud Ethan was that he followed through on the responsibility originally bestowed upon him by his Dad. And I can't explain to you the magnitude of how proud I am of my brother for raising such a good kid.

Actin' A Fool

We were at my brother's place when I asked Ethan if he wanted to go outside to play soccer. He was looking for the soccer ball when he spontaneously stopped and busted out incredibly obnoxious dance moves. "WHAT was THAT?!," I asked, laughing. He pointed out that Lady Gaga's Just Dance was on the radio. Duh!

When we got outside and I was about to kick the ball, he told me to wait until he tied his shoe. I replied, "That's OK - while you're doing that, I'll (queue mimicking of his aforementioned dance moves) JUST DANCE!" With the most serious expression on his face, he looked at me and said, "No. Don't do that." I rebutted with, "Why!? YOU just did it!," to which Ethan shot back, "Yes, but that was inside, and this is in public." Touche...

But I Gotta Go to the Baaaathroooom: Adult/Child Roles Briefly Reversed

One of the days during my visit to Ohio was extra special because I got to take Ethan to Water Works Family Aquatic Center in Cuyahoga Falls. My brother and I spent so many summers there, so it seemed really cool as an adult to be taking my nephew there. I fully expected a day of aunt/nephew bonding, but what I didn't expect was the lines of adult/child roles to be blurred.

For instance, after we ate the lunch I packed for us, Ethan was ready to hit the water slides. I was ready too, but only after I went to the lady's room. Ethan seemed annoyed that I needed to make this detour, but he sighed and left it at that until:

Ethan: "Aunt Stephanie! What are you doing?! Leave your flip flops at the blanket so we can go straight to the water slides from the restroom!"

Me: "Eeeewwwww! No way! I'm NOT going barefoot in the bathroom! Gross!," I whined.

Ethan: (Scoffs) "Fine. After you are finished, hand me your flip flops and I'll run them back to the blanket real fast."

Um, how on earth did I become the whiny child?

Another example of adult/child role reversal occurred in our relentless battle regarding sunscreen application. For example, I never thought he was putting enough on, and he thought I was being evil for making him go through the drill of reapplying it so often. The sunscreen tug-of-war went on all day and I even had to pull out the "I'm the adult, you are the child" line several times, although I think I was repeating it mostly to convince myself. Luckily, and I told him one day he'd thank me, I won. Below is an excerpt from our verbal tug-of-war:

Ethan: "What are those 'dots' on your shoulders?" (referring to the freckles on my shoulders)

Me: "AH HA!," I exclaimed, excited because he had unintentionally introduced Exhibit A to further my argument FOR sunscreen. "Yeah! See!? THIS is what happens when you don't wear enough sunscreen as a kid! You don't want to end up with 'dots' like these, do you?!"

Ethan: "Yes, I think they are cool."

Me: (Slapping hand on forehead in frustration)"D'oh!"

Water Slides = Recipe for High Level Embarrassment

In addition to several large water slides at Waterworks, there are also 2 short "racing" tube slides. Semi-unsure as to whether adults were allowed to enjoy these slides, I stood on the sidelines and watched Ethan for a while. He is so small that he was literally shot out of the slide like a cannon ball. This was so entertaining to me that I told him to go again and again and that I didn't mind waiting and watching. I was endlessly giggling when he came up to me and said, "OK, your turn. We can race!" My smile quickly transitioned into a look of horror, especially because I had yet to see an adult on these tube slides, and I was paying attention. I tried to use the excuse that I had my sunglasses with me, but Ethan asked for them and carefully tucked them under a fence so they wouldn't get broken or stolen. I swallowed the lump in my throat along with a big chunk of my pride, and complied with his request to "race" him on the dueling tube slides. I followed him up the stairs, half embarrassed and, let's be honest, half totally excited. When we reached the top of the platform, I relaxed a bit and realized that it wasn't necessary for me to feel so embarrassed to be acting like a kid again. That is, until this 31-year-old yelped (a yelp that was acoustically enhanced by the hollow tube, by the way) going down the slide. Oh, and who won the race, you ask? Well, I couldn't tell you because I was too busy getting reprimanded by the lifeguard who blew his whistle at me for almost exiting the pool at the wrong ladder.

Luckily, Ethan thought I was cool that day even if the lifeguards thought I was a total hot mess.

Lazy River Revelations

After our 9 millionth time around the lazy river in separate tubes, I begged Ethan to allow me to share his giant 2 person tube with him. "Fine!," he finally relented, much to my glee and his chagrin. I coerced quite a bit of info out of Ethan during our circles of laziness. I found out that he has a girlfriend, for example, and I demanded and was in turn supplied with all the details! Her name is Gretchen, she wears glasses, SHE asked HIM out, etc. But after a while, the conversation turned more serious:

Ethan: (In a completely serious tone of voice) "So, what else do you want to talk about? How about work? How is your work going?"

Me: "Ugggghhh, oh Ethan, I do not like my job. .... In fact, I'm working really hard to go back to school to become a teacher! .... Ethan? Do you think I would be a good teacher?"

Ethan: "Eeeeehhhhh, maybe about 50 to 60%."

Me: "WHAT?!," I exclaimed, hoping for an uptick in the number the second time around.

Ethan: "Yes. About 50 to 60% good."

Me: "Really?! Is that your final answer??"

It wasn't just the fact he thought I'd only make a halfway decent teacher that bothered me. It was also the fact that he seemed to have better grasp on percentages than I did, and I had been studying percentages along with many other math concepts for many weeks.

So, I suppose I now not only have to prove to myself that I can become a GREAT teacher, but I'm also faced with the task of impressing Simon Cowell in my quest for teacher hood.

And Finally...

Who wouldn't love an eight year old who is funny, honest (albeit a little too honest), gives hugs freely and loves telling stories just as much as he loves hearing them? Although I could go on and on about our special times together and why he is so important to me, hopefully this entry helps convey a bit of my gratefulness for having this unconditionally-loving eight year old in my life. And sure I hope that in his little mind he considers me far better than "50 to 60% good" as an aunt!