What I Learned in 2015

Months ago my brother texted me some photos he pulled from a scrapbook I made for him when he graduated high school. One of the photos was of myself, my best friend Mandy, and my brother. He sent another of himself and his best friend Michael who passed away when we were in high school. I told him I didn’t remember when or where the photos were taken, to which he replied, “That’s why you need to see the movie Inside Out.” 

Without totally giving the plot away, I will only tell you that the movie is about an 11 year old girl and the various emotions living inside her head, along with the life-long memories stored in her brain. Up until a certain point as a child, the emotion of joy is what we experience most, and we tend to mostly reflect upon happy memories. But as the story unfolds we learn that as we grow older, the positive and negative events in our lives and our resulting emotions are far more complicated - and necessary. 

The movie helped me remember the importance of making memories, even though many of them naturally become dormant along the way. But for most of my life, I was obsessed with creating experiences for myself that I could learn from and recall fondly. As an adult in her late 30’s, however, I’ve had a tendency to get wrapped up in all the things I have to do just to exist that I forget the importance of relaxing, having fun, and taking the time to reflect upon positive and negative experiences in the form of journaling. 

In addition to making quality memories, learning to accept all of my emotions was the biggest lesson I learned in 2015. I discovered that it's okay to be sad, for instance. It’s okay to feel sadness and not be happy all of the time. In fact, I'm doing a serious disservice to myself when I don’t honor my emotions. Resisting negative feelings and experiencing guilt for not being happy all of the time only makes me feel worse. But it's impossible to feel happiness all of the time, and that's actually a good thing. Think about it. If humans were happy all of the time, would we ever find the motivation to challenge ourselves and become better people by trying new things? Nope.

Just as much as it’s okay to feel sadness, I re-learned that it’s okay to have FUN! In fact, “play time” is crucial to my well being, as it is for every human. We live in a society that values being busy all of the time. Being overbooked, overwhelmed, and chronically exhausted is a lifestyle considered tantamount to a life balanced with hard work and leisure in this country. Even though I learned to resist the toxic concept of a “go, go, go” lifestyle, I haven’t totally let go of the guilt that I’ve been conditioned to feel anytime I’m doing anything other than working or doing chores. But play time is important for a healthy lifestyle. Play time in the form of drawing, sprinting up a hill, dancing, painting, etc. fosters creativity and relieves stress. It allows us to be present while getting lost in the moment. It allows us to focus on the task at hand, while simultaneously helping us figure out solutions to problems unrelated to the task at hand.

2015 was the year of understanding and honoring my emotions. This past year definitely had some rough patches, but there were also a lot of highlights to balance things out. I learned even more about myself and the world this year than the previous year, and as long as I continue to learn and grow every year that I’m alive, I will consider myself fulfilled.