Suck it, Singles!

Yes, I have been single for forever, and yes, I would love nothing more than to find that special someone. But I have to admit that part of the reason I feel that way is because, despite women's best efforts for equality, there is a stigma that remains for single women in their 30's. I'm absolutely floored by the pressure to get married in our society because it's not like married people don't have their own troubles. The grass isn't always greener.

But in fact just last week I read a bunch of articles about how, despite the growing demographic, this world is just not kind to the single lady. According to one article, lonely people don't sleep as well as their coupled peers. According to another article, single women have far more trouble getting ahead financially, especially regarding saving for retirement. And did you know that, according to yet another article, a book has been written about how there is now such a thing called "singlism?" Like racism, and ageism, etc., but referring to discrimination against single women. Are you kidding me?

I feel like Sex and the City made it trendy to be single in your 30's, but that trend died right along with the progressive-thinking TV series, and everyone has returned to the usual business of applying pity stickers on single women. And, in fact, even Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte all ended up smitten by the end of the series.

My eternally wise and wonderful Aunt Denise (who understands me more than I do sometimes, and is a major source of good, honest advice) recently sent me this article from The Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/20/single-married-happier_n_972397.html

It's about the happiness of single women vs. married, and while the level of happiness is fairly equal, one of the main reasons single women aren't happy with their single status is because of the pity society places on them for not being paired up. I totally agree with this idea. I'm annoyed every time I have to tell someone I'm still single, mostly because of the impending judgement, and telling people through clenched teeth that "I'm single, but I'm happy," isn't very convincing.

A lot of women choose to be single though, and good for them! I support any non-traditional life choice, like a good liberal girl should. I, however, am not necessarily single by choice. I actually want to be in a relationship. But I'm having trouble finding someone.

As much as I want to be in a relationship though, I'm accepting of the fact that God, the universe, or whatever other-worldly power simply doesn't feel I'm ready to be in a solid, committed relationship right now. I just wish there wasn't so much pressure in our society to get hitched, making single gals feel like total losers until they find a guy - ANY guy - who will do them the honor. All of the wedding shows on cable networks like Bravo and TLC only contribute to the delusion that a wedding is the single most important event in one's life. I can't even help but be sucked into it sometimes. But what about the marriage? Shouldn't we doll out credit to those women who remained single for as long as they needed to in order to find someone with whom to share a successful union?

Additionally, shows like Why Am I Still Single? and Tough Love only fuel the idea that all single people are alone because something must be seriously wrong with them. These shows cause rather normal single viewers to obsessively pick themselves apart when, in fact, the "subjects" were only chosen to be on the show because they are insane (clearly). And insane people generate ratings.

With crappy TV like this constantly shoved down our optical nerves, the fact there is so much wedding obsession in our culture and simultaneously so much divorce is no coincidence. But I'd rather be single a thousand times over than be in a shitty relationship.

I am thankful that I have the ability to stand my ground, ignore the lure of the hoopla (unlike a certain Kardashian), and be patient and still enough (thank you, yoga!) to shut out the outside judgement and listen strictly to my inner voice, which would love to politely tell society, "I'M SINGLE, BUT IT'S OK! I'M WORKING ON IT, DAMMIT!"