Good Intentions

I know I talk about yoga a lot in my blog, but it really is the one time during my week when I'm not only forced to slow down and be absolutely focused for an entire hour and fifteen minutes, but it's also the one place where the lessons I learn can be applied to nearly every other aspect of my life.

This morning I'm thinking about "setting my intention," just as we are told to set our intention prior to each yoga class. I'm pretty good about picking a different intention in yoga each week, such as focusing on strength, or confidence, or balance, etc. And I'm really good about concentrating on that intention for the entire duration of the class, but I just wish that my good intentions for yoga followed me outside of the studio more often than not.

So, instead of limiting myself to setting an intention for approximately one hour, once a week, I thought I'd set an intention for the entire week, which is simply "to have a very good week."

 I realize that statement is quite broad, so here is a detailed outline regarding what is currently on my mind:

a.) I will focus on positive thoughts and outcomes. 
b.) I will do whatever I have to do to bring myself up whenever I catch myself feeling down and not super confident.
c.) I will not "cheat myself" during any part of my workouts this week - no matter how painful they may be!
d.) I will not ruminate about my job dissatisfaction, and will instead remember to make the best of a not-so-perfect situation.
e.) I will remember to count my blessings and be thankful for what I already have and for the wonderful people in my life.
f.) I will focus on remembering the fact that "pushing through" set-backs and challenges is a big part of being successful.

I just had to re-read this list 900 times, if only to let these intentions really sink in. The items on this list sound nice and all, but they mean nothing if I don't actually believe them and keep them in the forefront of my brain. Maybe I should create flash cards or something and memorize them since that method worked so well for studying in college?

Anyway, whether positive or negative, "self-fulfilling prophecy" is a very powerful idea, and I truly believe that one can positively alter their experiences based on the personal decision to proceed through life with a passion for great expectations.

Leggo my Legos

This photo makes me giggle for several reasons:

1. My brother snapped this in the toy section at Target because he couldn't stop laughing when he saw it.
2. Not only does this little Lego lady sort of resemble yours truly, but the description does too (except for the part about being bossy! Whatevs!).
3. Legos remind me of one of my most cherished Brother vs. Sister stories.

As a kid, I could spend hours and hours alone entertaining myself. Playing with my Barbie dolls, drawing, riding my bike and pretending it was a school bus - I always found a creative outlet and rarely found myself bored. My little brother, Eric, on the other hand, required constant attention and companionship. You can imagine how this personality conflict would affect my annoyance level and ruin my life at times, right?

The one thing my brother and I did have in common, though, was playing with Legos together. For years we'd build, then tear down, and then rebuild what we called "S.E.L.M. City," which stood for "Steph, Eric, Legos, and Micro Machines." S.E.L.M. City was a mountainous railroad town. Literally. My Dad nailed down train tracks from a train set onto an old box spring and set it up in our basement. Inside the tracks we displayed brown rocks that we gathered from outside, naming them the "Chocolate Mountains." We also had a Micro Machine's gas station set up in our little town (If you don't remember what Micro Machines are, think half-sized matchbox cars!). And in addition to the mountains and gas station, we built tremendous houses out of Legos.

To this day you could put a bucket of Legos in front of me, and I'd be occupied for hours. There's just something about the building, the creating, and the rush you get when you finally find that rare and elusive 2-pronged piece you've been (noisily) searching for, which is an elation that can be likened to finding that one last quarter needed for laundry while searching in a sea of a million other coins. Jackpot!

Constructing houses out of Legos was one of the few activities that didn't usually end in a fight between me and my little brother. Enjoying the journey rather than the destination was of utmost importance when drafting our blue prints for S.E.L.M. City. Our little Lego dudes rarely got to enjoy all that S.E.L.M. City had to offer though, because once we were finished, we'd tear it down and work on something bigger and better.

(As a side note, my little Lego dude was named "Bob Costas," which never failed to make my brother snicker. I don't know why I chose that name, other than the fact that his snap-on helmet-like hairpiece reminded me of the the guy I'd seen on TV jabbering on and on about sports during a good portion of my youth.)

Anyway, I was more artistic and patient than my brother, so my houses always looked a lot better than his. I'd take great care never point this out to him, though, and I would always encourage him any time he requested that I check out his progress.

What the little brother didn't know at the time, and still hasn't caught on to this day, however, is that I hoarded all the "good pieces." I  secretly kept a stash of potted plants, kitchen sinks, "glass" French doors, etc. So, while my MTV's Cribs worthy masterpiece boasted skylights and pristine plastic landscaping, my brother's house looked more like the Lego equivalent of a cinder block garage.

But one day, for reasons I still cannot fathom other than I was probably just annoyed by his presence, I thought he should know that my house was worlds better than his. I couldn't stop giggling at his mismatched red/yellow/white walls and sparse "furniture." Even as I witnessed the furor and rage build up on his face, I just couldn't stop myself from hurling the criticism. The next thing I knew, my lavish Lego mega mansion was destroyed beyond all recognition.

And at that very moment, it hit me. Man, I'm a real a-hole, I thought. I deserved for my Lego mansion to be smashed to bits! But all I could do was stare at the wreckage in silence with my jaw dropped.

The silence was then only broken by a whimper from my little brother. He felt so guilty for what he'd done that he started crying and apologizing. He hugged me, which only made me feel bad that he felt so bad.

From that day forward, we never had another "incident" while Lego-ing. An unspoken -but very strict!- law was immediately enacted requiring us to always respect each other's Lego houses while they stood proudly within the jurisdiction of the oval-shaped railroad city. In other words, I silently agreed to never again hurl harsh criticism, and he silently agreed to never again hurl my handiwork across the playroom.

I think we both quietly understood that our quality bonding time spent building Lego houses was special, and that we didn't want to ruin it, especially because we already spent plenty of time fighting over sink space while brushing our teeth.

Finally, feeling guilty myself for being such a brat when I clearly had an unfair advantage regarding construction materials, I decided to sneak some of the "good pieces" back into the communal Lego bucket that day. Despite my generous effort, though, Eric's Lego houses continued to resemble little brightly colored prison cells, but I (wisely) kept that thought to myself.

Departing Rumination Station

A lot of strength is required to admit a personal weakness.

And discovering a flaw about yourself only to realize that it has always been a part of you can be quite startling, not to mention, humbling.

Or, maybe you have always been somewhat aware that you harbored a certain weakness, but you didn't think it was too big of a deal until it became a real problem.

Regardless, sometimes that newly unearthed flaw reveals itself to you (or you are reminded of it) exactly at a point when it's not only absolutely necessary for you to see it, but when you are open and honest enough with yourself to recognize it.

I recently read an article about the unhealthy habit of "ruminating." The basic meaning of this word is "to mull something over" .... and over and over again, with no resolution or end in sight.

As I was reading the article, my jaw dropped, I gasped, and I nodded my head in agreement (Ok, not really, but I was that dramatic in my head) because I was immediately hit with the fact that I'm extremely guilty of this habit! I irrationally dwell on the past, am often indecisive about the present, and I stress about the future! I mean, I know I've always been susceptible to over-analyzing and "thinking too much," but according to the article, "ruminating" serves zero purpose, can be emotionally harmful, and can even prevent one from moving forward in life, not unlike running on a treadmill without an "off" button.

The caveat to being a highly reflective being, I suppose, is harboring an unnecessary proclivity for rumination.

It is now perfectly obvious to me that there is a fine line between the healthy act of examining life, as the philosopher Socrates famously encouraged, and teetering on the edge of falling so deeply into your head that you struggle to climb back out of it.

Therefore, going forward, I vow to concentrate more on living in the moment. Sounds easy, right? Just let it all go like tossing confetti into the air? What a liberating thought! But for this overactive mind, it's simply not that simple. So, how does one really stop the destructive cycle of "rumination?"

Like any bad habit, it's nearly impossible to flip a switch to shut it off. But, there are several ongoing methods that work for me in my perpetual struggle to be truly present in every moment:

Yoga Lessons for The Real World  
Like the message I often hear from instructors while practicing yoga, "if you catch your mind wandering, concentrate on your breathing to bring yourself back to the present."

So often I find myself in a difficult yoga pose, and the second my concentration wanes, I lose my balance. The very same thing happens to me outside of the yoga studio when I'm not trying to hold Warrier 3, and the simple act of focusing on my breathing helps me to regain control of my thoughts.

Blogging/Journaling
Blogging and writing in my journal is a great way to purge the clutter in my head. I find that once those thoughts are dispensed and organized in a clear and concise manner, I feel refreshed and relieved. Don't get me wrong - whatever subject I write about remains important to me, it's just that once those thoughts are released into the Bloggosphere, they no longer fruitlessly and frustratingly tumble around in my noggin.

Ending Each Day on a Positive Note
Per my #9 goal from my 2012 Bucket List, I've been dutifully noting in my planner one positive aspect from each day. 18 days into the new year, and this goal has already made a huge impact on me! It's amazing how much more you are able to appreciate every single day as it comes when you force yourself to reflect on just one positive aspect, however seemingly small.

And finally,

Jewelry
No, I don't mean using retail therapy as a way to distract me from wayward thoughts. Incidentally, the day I began working on this post I had dinner with mis tres amigas favoritas that night, and they surprised me with a necklace they purchased for me after being inspired by this blog post.

The charm with the "?" represents dealing with uncertainty.
The garnet charm represents "vitality, courage, passion, and love."
The smoky quartz charm "calms and help manifest dreams."
The iolite charm "opens the mind, helps one to stay in the moment."

Megan, Sara & Jennie appeared in my life when I was dealing with severe uncertainty and needing true friends the most. Along with their friendship, the meaning behind this necklace will serve as a continuous reminder to live in the moment, to be encouraged by my passions, and be grateful for my tremendous blessings, which largely includes my best girls.