"Don't get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life."
My third year of personal training has been a roller coaster ride of unimaginable heights and speeds. I went from being the Top Trainer at the beginning of my 3rd year to hitting my lowest session count in over a year during the spring, to turning everything around to be the Top Trainer again this summer.
There were more challenges with clients this year than ever before, but there were also that many more rewards. I've said it before and I'll say it again - my clients are the reason I do what I do. I am committed to them and their success, and I wish there was more time in the day so I could dedicate even more time to them. I truly believe that what I do is important, and I feel that I do a pretty good job of it. It's also a lot of FUN. Sometimes when I put too much pressure on myself, I have to remind myself that what I am doing is a great stress reliever for my clients, and even though they are getting their butts kicked, it's also an opportunity to have FUN. That is why I have stuck around for so long regardless of the struggles.
Speaking of struggles, perhaps the biggest struggle as a personal trainer is dealing with how much of my social life I've given up just to be successful at my job. I know it sounds dramatic, but for an extreme introvert like me, being "on" for so many hours in a week completely drains and exhausts me to the point that making plans with anyone, no matter how much I enjoy them and their company, seems impossible. Impossible not because I don't have the time (although that is a big factor), but impossible because I have zero energy and attention left to give.
No one understands me though. No one could possibly understand what I feel at the end of the day and week unless they have a similar temperament to mine and are doing what I'm doing for a living. Working in a chaotic, loud, busy environment is too much for my nervous system to handle on a daily basis. Talking, talking, talking, and exuding positive energy at all times wears down my battery faster than an iPhone 5. I require A LOT of down time to recharge and recover my nervous system just to feel like a normal person again, and unfortunately that means I don't have time for much else.
I usually get blank stares when I try to explain myself to most people about how I'm feeling most of the time. But imagine showing up to work at 6am after only 4 hours of sleep with a killer hangover and having to be at your best self for your client while being observed and judged by countless other people? Sounds horrible, right? I feel like this every morning - except there is no alcohol involved. Imagine being at work at 9pm on the same day you got to work at 6am and are still nursing that hangover 15 hours later? This is how I feel most of the time. Sometimes I don't know how I get through my own workouts except that not having to talk during that time refuels me for a bit.
This physical and mental exhaustion has not only cost me time with friends over the years, but it's prevented me from going out and meeting new people and having new experiences all together. Additionally, I was particularly disappointed a couple weeks ago when I was at my cousin's wedding and my feet hurt too much to dance (a result of developing plantar fasciitis from standing at work all day long) and I was too wiped out to seek out and visit with cousins, aunts, and uncles who I only get to see once or twice a year. I didn't have as much fun with my family as I wanted to at that wedding because I'm perpetually tired from work. What kind of life am I living if I'm giving up my life to make a living?
So what do I do? My career is important to me. I love working with my clients. I cannot stress this enough. They are incredible people who teach me so much even when I'm teaching them. I believe the work is important and I believe I'm good at what I do. But how long can I keep sacrificing friendships, new experiences and time with family? I work with a boatload of extroverts, and even though many of them work as much as I do and are also tired, they all manage to find the energy to hang out together. I've declined invites from them so many times that they don't even bother to ask me anymore. This makes me sad, but on the other hand, I get it. I always say no. And I don't say no because I don't want to join them - I say no because I'm too tired and need to restore and reserve my energy for the next day so I can honor the value of the investment that my clients have made in me and themselves.
I think if I had my own private personal training studio then things would change dramatically for me. It would be one-on-one or very small group training, and non-shitty music would be played at a reasonable volume. Also, no one would be allowed to slam weights. Grunting is the only obnoxious noise that would be accepted though, because lets face it - when you are working hard enough, sometimes ya gotta grunt!
Ahh an introverted girl can dream...
An introverted girl can also turn her dreams into reality is she wants something badly enough...
