Training Wheels

I think the reason I'm so enamored with working out at the gym is because fitness is never finished. Every accomplishment only leads to a new goal. Working out is one activity in this world where your potential to achieve is virtually limitless! And for people who prefer the journey to the destination, the gym is the perfect place to enjoy the ride. 

For me, there is no better feeling than climbing into bed at night after a tough workout and experiencing the burnout sensation that feels like my muscles are melting into the mattress. That's the moment when I'm free to acknowledge my most important accomplishment of the day.

As I briefly mentioned in this post, I joined a brand new gym back in September because it was less expensive and offered more amenities than my last gym. And it didn't take long before I adjusted to a consistent fitness regimen that was similar to the one at my previous gym. It also didn't take long to begin exchanging "hellos" with a certain personal trainer I'd see upon each visit.

And after a few months, that certain personal trainer came up to me one day and literally took over my work out. And I haven't been on own at the gym since. Even when I'm without his assistance, I always feel constant support from him and never feel alone.

As someone who had previously been very confident with her workouts and who very much preferred solitude at the gym, allowing someone else to take over my most cherished and coveted time of the day was out of character for me. But to my surprise, letting Fabian take charge felt like the most natural interruption in the world. And, well, he is easy on the eyes, so I'll admit that the decision to surrender control wasn't really an issue.

Anyway, I've always been good about pushing myself regarding fitness. Before I met my trainer, I'd consistently participate in group fitness classes, for example. I'd also average 5 workouts a week and stick to a healthy diet. I really never saw a need for a personal trainer. But my whole workout routine dramatically changed once I began training with one.

Contradictory feelings come to mind when I think about my sessions with Fabian. But experiencing each combination of these contradictory feelings strikes a rich balance, always leaving me feeling centered after every workout. In fact, improving balance and stability was one of my goals when I began training, but I had no idea that this goal would apply both mentally and physically.

For example, being pushed by someone other than myself (and therefore not being held back by false limitations) can be extremely humbling, yet conquering any given challenge is a tremendous confidence boost.

Another example of contradiction occurs when I try new exercises or switch to heavier weights, because although the challenge makes me feel extremely vulnerable, it's also when I feel the strongest. Similarly, I've learned to surrender to each new movement, yet simultaneously control it. And relaxing my demeanor while working to fatigue my muscles at the same time may sound counteractive, but it's necessary for success.

Like the lessons I often write about from yoga, experiencing these contradictory feelings is positively affecting my attitude outside of the gym as well. I also think that the biggest mental reward I've gained from training is how I've learned to turn reluctance into willingness by swapping "I can't" for "I can" regarding all of the goals I'm working toward in life.

Additionally, I've been hurled out of my comfort zone a million times over since I began training, and not just regarding strength workouts. For instance, I used to prefer the anonymity of group fitness classes. And now I share the same training floor with the "dudes," even when Fabian isn't by my side. It can be intimidating at times, especially when I make a bonehead move like dropping a tiny doughnut weight and chasing it like a doofus while it rolls across the floor. (It never fails - this type of shit usually occurs the exact moment I start feeling cocky!). But it's also a huge ego boost when a big, muscly dude compliments my hard work or tells me, "That looks difficult."

Also, it used to be that if I didn't know how to use a certain machine, then I wouldn't go near it. Now I'm asking the guys to trade off sets with me. Granted, the weight has to be dramatically changed each time it's my turn, but the guys are very respectful of my gym time too, and even take it upon themselves to adjust the weight for me. I think they must know better than to mess with this skinny white girl!

Finally, it may seem odd that anyone could be so in love with an activity where the "training wheels" never really come off, but for me, there is no better motivation than knowing that fitness is never finished.